Corey’s behavior was out-of-control. The doctor’s diagnosis was that he was “just all boy.” At age 2, while visiting with our Public Health Nurse, Nancy, I broke down and admitted how worried I was about Corey’s behavior. She immediately suggested Early On. As she explained what Early On was and how it included a family’s plan called an IFSP, all I could picture was how bad a Mom I would be portrayed as, since I felt that I was such a failure as a parent.
As you might gather, our family had serious needs, but I was trying hard to solve our problems by myself. When Nancy explained that the process would involve someone from the schools to assist her with a child evaluation and family assessment, once again anxiety set in that another person would know our secrets. She talked to me about how the process looks at strengths of the family, but I did not understand what that meant.

The plan turned out to show the great things Corey could do and the positives about our family. At the same time my worries were actually written down, such as wanting to know why Corey was acting as he was, wanting his behavior to improve, needing time away from Corey, needing more money to pay my bills. The nurse and the school consultant admitted to not having the answers to all our needs and asked if they could invite a variety of community personnel to an IFSP meeting. We brainstormed together and came up with a list of those who might be able to help; we also included my mom who was such a great support to us. This meeting led to the beginning plan on how best to meet our needs by building on our strengths.

Because service providers believed in me and really listened to me, I found out that I wasn’t a bad parent and that my concerns about Corey’s behavior were justified. It’s strange, but it actually was the kindness and the emphasis on our family strengths that led to getting Corey and our family the guidance and help that we needed.

Corey has since been diagnosed with autism.